Playgroup

I may have my own child, but that doesn't mean I like other people's children. I have become a lot more comfortable around babies since having my own, but there is still that initial hesitation when meeting with people who have children of their own. And I definitely have a hard time with any large group of children. This is why I only attend a play group once a week--that's all I can handle.

Playgroups are popular in places like Idaho, places that have what I call a "real winter." It gives the mothers a chance to see another adult face and the kids get a chance to play with different toys and interact with peers. In my neighborhood there are two meetings a week, with one mom hosting Tuesdays and another hosting Thursdays. 

I have only managed to attend the Tuesday meetings, and just this hour and a half a week is almost more than I can handle. It's hard enough getting out the door with a toddler in tow; I really have to change my expectations for the day now that I'm a mom. I can't even go to these playgroups expecting a real conversation, because I never know when my kid is going to have a fit and need to go back home, or if the other kids will play at a decibel level below a jet engine taking off.

So there's the element of my own child's temperament that day, but then there is also the playgroup's own dynamics that come into consideration. Most of the time it is absolute chaos! Not that I blame any of the mothers--there is bound to be lots of noise and fighting when ten children under the age of 5 are gathered in one two-bedroom apartment. (I hope that's not a fire hazard...)  And while this behavior, this chaos, is completely normal for children, I am on edge the entire visit.

I am willing to endure this edginess for a couple hours a week because I know the value of creating opportunities for my little one to socialize. He gets a chance to play with someone else's toys, to look at a different set of walls and deal with children his age. All the kids expose each other to the concept of sharing... germs and toys alike. It is in this setting where toddlers and preschoolers learn basic social rules, like waiting one's turn, or expressing oneself with words and not tantrums.


Intellectually, I understand all of this. But it doesn't help ease that chalkboard feeling as little ones cry and fuss, try to get into the garbage, open cupboards, drink out of someone else's bottle, spread out every single giant Lego piece across the floor, rip pages out of books and chew on myriad plastic flotsam bits. It's hard enough allowing my little one to explore at my own apartment; multiply that by 10 and I can barely concentrate.


Then there's the discipline aspect of child rearing. When do I step in and rip the toy from one child's hand and give it back to my own kid? When do I just wait and watch to see what my little one will do? When do I get the other parent involved? This is one reason I hated babysitting when I was younger--I felt powerless, that it wasn't my place, to do anything that might involve disciplining a child. I still don't know when to step in. I hate feeling out of my element, and other people's children do that to me.


Yet it is something I will have to deal with from now on--it's kind of implied now that I have a little one and he will eventually start bringing home friends. At least it's a gradual adjustment.