Gift Giving

Many of us get caught up in the gift giving mania of Christmas, feeling pressure to get everyone we know a present, even if we really don't know them all that well. I love giving gifts, even if there is some pressure to get just the right thing. It's especially difficult when there are a few of my friends and family who have it all, or at least the means to buy it. It's more fun to get my less well-off friends gifts because they appreciate every little thing.  Little things are pretty much all I can afford right now.

Over the years I have learned to categorize my friends and family in two ways: those I give gifts and those I give candy canes. That might sound petty and cruel, to say a friend is "only a candy cane friend," but that's not what a candy cane means when it's from me. When I give a candy cane, it's my way of saying, "I don't have a lot of money to share my earthly goods, but I wanted to do something to show my gratitude for your influence in my life." Perhaps that's a bit much to expect a simple candy cane to say, but hopefully my friends understand it anyway.

My mother taught me a long time ago not to share so much. I first remember hearing it when she told me and my sister not to trade food when we were in elementary school. Everyone knows about the lunchtime tradition of children swapping parts of their lunch with each other. So after my mom got upset with me a few times hearing me talk about it, I simply stopped telling her! In later years I found out she was primarily concerned with her children getting enough to eat; we were quite poor for many years, so it was a valid concern. She assumed we would trade away our food for less than it was worth. I'm sure she was also concerned about germs--who knows if other parents wash their hands before making their kids' lunches, or what happened to the lunch once the kid got a hold of it.

Another sharing philosophy my parents believe is that gift giving is a luxury. It is sound advice, but not something I necessarily abide by. I love sharing. It feels like a need to me. I like making other people happy when they realize I was thinking of them. I like how it makes me feel when I give. (There goes altruism...) So perhaps my compromise at Christmas is only giving candy canes after a certain point. If I could, I would love to give so much more! Buying and making presents is fun!

But maybe there is good reason we cannot physically give to everyone we know. Our circle of acquaintances has a built-in self-destruct, as it were, where it collapses in on itself, similar to a body suffering from Gigantism. My circle of friends can only extend so far; there comes a point when I am unable to spend enough time with them to keep qualifying the relationship as a friendship. Also, children who are given everything they want often do not appreciate what they have and become unhappy, spoiled, and dissatisfied later in life. Then again, maybe I'm just trying to comfort myself because I can't give the killer awesome Christmas presents that I wish I could give.

Not that that's what Christmas is about... I guess in this case I do give gifts more for my own sake than for others, and that's not what we should be thinking of at this time of year. A while ago I realized how important it is for us as human beings to have something to celebrate--traditions. Not only that, but considering how easily our minds forget vital information, we need at least a yearly reminder of Christ's Atonement. (Heck, us Mormons take the sacrament every single week to remind us of the promises we made when we were baptized; it's surprising we don't have Christmas once a month!) 

Christmas focuses on the Savior's birth, and I think it's for a few good reasons. One, we celebrate that someone as great as Christ lived at all, (that He still lives); two, since babies represent new life, that it's never too late to create a new life for ourselves and become better people; three, Christ condescension to earth in a mortal body is when the Plan of Salvation hit the final stages of fruition.

The real purpose to giving each other gifts at this time of year is to remind each other of the greatest gift of all: of Heavenly Father allowing His only Begotten Son to be killed for everyone else's sins, and for Christ choosing to suffer and conquer death--giving Himself--to save each one of us. That's why the best gifts come when we give at least a little bit of us. When that happens, of course we're happy that it makes the receiver happy. They're accepting who we are, a small reassurance that we still matter to them. That joy in making others happy with our gifts is probably a small measure of what Christ feels when we accept His gift. How beautiful to taste that in any measure!

I hope this helps anyone who is getting stressed out about Christmas this season. Sorry for the cliche, but what counts the most in gift giving is the thought.