The Physics of Attitude

I learned a new saying today, and apparently it's been around for years: "To a hammer, all the world's a nail." Phrases and parables like these have more than one application, which adds to their versatility. Each layer of truth is revealed as the applicant finds one more way the parable can apply to life.

I asked my mom what she thought this particular phrase meant, and she said it means there are limitless opportunities all around us. My dad applied it to a conversation we were having about how a person's attitude affects... well, everything. To a negative person, for example, every experience is just one more example of why God hates him. So really, both interpretations of this saying are about attitude, or perspective.

Physics also has its own application of this principle, in the form of Newton's first law: A body at rest stays at rest, and a body in motion stays in motion; or, inertia. There is psychological proof of this as well--it is easier to remain in one frame of mind than to shift schools of thought, so a person will subconsciously look for evidence as proof to why their outlook on life is correct. It is easier for a negative person to stay negative and point out all the negatives in life--as miserable as that state of mind can be--than to change his core beliefs and become a positive person.

Conversely, this means positive people are more likely to stay positive because it is easier to stay in one frame of mind than change. I think it also has to do with habits. If a person habitually looks on the bright side, habitually gives others the benefit of the doubt, habitually thinks of others first, then it is easier to stay positive.

The problem for negative underachievers then lies in making the transition from one type of attitude to another. And here is where the mind games begin. What picture enters your mind the moment you read "Don't think about white bears"? Do polar bears come to mind, perhaps with a cola in paw? Thoughts are the hardest to change or block out, but it can be done. Instead of worrying about how intrusive those white bears are, you can do one of two things. Think about something completely unrelated and focus on that, like warm apple pie, to drive out the bears, or ignore the bear's black nose poking into your mind's eye. 

It feels very unnatural to turn the other way; when we physically see something out of the corner of our eye, instinct makes us turn towards whatever it is and bring it into focus. Same thing with thoughts. But I have found that it is actually possible to "turn" our mind's eye away from whatever is flickering on the outskirts of our conscious thoughts, to ignore a negative thought and just pretend it's not even there. I think the most successful people in the world have learned this technique, as negative thinking would have beat them out of the running a long time ago.

I am not saying we should ignore the realistic negative thoughts that occur; if we never thought about natural disasters, we'd never feel the need to put emergency kits together. I am saying that as far as personal achievement and happiness goes, we need to start ignoring the negative, self-doubting thoughts. These are thoughts that whisper, "You'll never be able to do that," or "Nobody cares, nobody notices you, you're worthless," and so on. Those are the thoughts that need to be ignored and eventually replaced with positive messages.

It is difficult, learning to control one's thoughts, but it is definitely possible. It's one of the amazing aspects of our humanity--the ability to self-examine and improve. If you're ever stuck trying to find positive thoughts about yourself to replace the negative ones, ask your closest friends or family to tell you one thing they like about you. Yes, it's fishing for a compliment, but these compliments can become your greatest weapons in your arsenal against negative thinking, if you believe them. And even if you're not sure if those good things about you are true, believing in them long enough can make them true.

One other part of learning positive thinking includes serving others. When we help the people around us, whether by giving a meal to a family whose main provider just lost their job or serving soup at a homeless shelter, we begin to forget ourselves. Serving others can also provide a great new perspective: "Gee, I'm sure glad I don't have that person's problems!" Our own life doesn't seem all that bad, since there's always somebody worse off. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but losing oneself in service is often the fastest way of finding oneself. And in the meantime, we help each other out :)